Chapter 25: The Great Chain of Being
In contrast to a few seconds ago the humming of tires over the pavement sounded a little hollow. This probably meant they were going over some kind of bridge. This conclusion seemed to be verified by two sensations, one, of being at a slight incline, and two, the bump and sound of metal right before they started to decline.
Claudia was surprised at how much she was enjoying having her eyes covered up as she rode in the car. Austin, in an attempt to conceal their final destination, asked Claudia to wear an eye mask. At first Claudia objected, but soon gave in to Austin’s request for a “blind date”.
Early in their excursion Claudia asked if they could ride in silence so she could use her other senses to help track where they were going. Austin thought it was a great idea, and asked if she would share some of her perceptions as they went along. After a few minutes Claudia proclaimed she was following their path rather well. Austin dared her to ruin the surprise by guessing where they were when they arrived, and Claudia gladly accepted the challenge.
This was their first time in public together since their break-up. All previous meetings were at Claudia’s place and Austin had complained lately that he was feeling like she was his mistress and not his wife. The whole experience of driving with Austin through the city was rather novel. During their marriage they either walked or took public transportation, but seldom drove anywhere. Austin was always uncomfortable behind the wheel, and Claudia did wish she could take off her blindfold for a few seconds to see his anxiety. Even with the blindfold on she snickered often when she sensed Austin’s being overwhelmed by the task at hand.
Though it was still a little chilly Claudia made sure all the car windows were open to allow her to hear, smell and sense all she could. Being a cloudless day it allowed her to chart the direction they were driving by feeling the sun on her body. Since it was sunny, she surmised the occasional disappearance of the sun was caused by tall buildings and other structures. The majority of the ride she felt the sun on the back of her head which signalled to her they were generally traveling westward.
She was able to identify many of the neighborhoods they drove through by their smells and sounds. The music being played was a dead give away for the black and Hispanic neighborhoods. At one stoplight she overheard a conversation she swore was in Greek. The smell of ethnic foods was also of great assistance. At various stops she was able to distinguish Italian, Turkish, and Chinese eateries.
The sounds of birds and children’s voices often signaled the presence of parks or school grounds. The smells from the railway yards, bus terminals and some larger subway lines were very distinct, as of course were the smells from several factories and business establishments. She also noticed the sounds from poorer neighborhoods were different from those of wealthier ones. Poorer areas were generally nosier, especially the mufflers on cars and trucks.
When Austin stopped the car, Claudia shared her thoughts on where she thought they were. She said they had travelled west and recently passed by a poorer section of town. Claudia said she was confused for she felt as if the area was now rather open, but it did not seem to her as if they were near trees or grass.
Even though she couldn’t say exactly where they were, Austin was very impressed with Claudia’s assessment. He said she was warm and offered to lead her to the exact spot and give her one more chance to guess.
Austin led her inside a building which had many stairs and ramps. The echoes told her it was a big building and the quiet told her it was near vacated. She at last concluded they must be in some sort of auditorium, yet it didn’t smell like a theater or opera house. Austin said he’d give her one more clue and asked her to watch her step. She sensed a coolness below her feet and Austin held her like he expected her to fall.
“We seem to be at some huge ice rink,” declared Claudia.
“Very good,” Austin said taking off her mask.
After her eyes adjusted to the light she looked around and immediately recognized they were on the ice rink at the United Center. Seeing the question in her eyes Austin said, “The Blackhawks are in town and a friend said we could use it before they practice later this afternoon.”
“Wait here a second,” Austin said before he scurried to the first row of bleachers and returned with a huge duffel bag. Reaching inside the bag Austin pulled out a couple of pairs of skates and asked if she wanted to wear gloves. She said no and they both put on their skates.
Claudia gave Austin a kiss telling him this was a very sweet surprise. He said he couldn’t bear the thought of an entire year passing without their skating together. Though Claudia remembered their skating sometime before last Christmas, she didn’t say anything for she knew what Austin meant.
Though Claudia didn’t travel with Austin very often, she still had travelled to every continent with him accept Antarctica. She had skated with him in every Scandinavian country, as well as much of eastern Europe. Austin had made it a goal to skate with Claudia in every country in the world. Where they couldn’t skate they swam together instead, but Austin even found ways for them to skate in some of the warmest countries.
In general, Austin didn’t use his wealth and position to his advantage, yet he would use any means possible to create an opportunity to skate with Claudia. Skating with Claudia was his passion and when it came to this activity nothing was too extravagant.
As he led her around the ice, she couldn’t help but remember some of their more celebrated skating dates. One night, for their fifth wedding anniversary, Austin took her by private jet to Paris where they skated alone in front of a full moon. To say they were alone was not quite true, for Austin had hired a string quartet to serenade them while they skated. Another time in England they skated in a field while fireworks exploded overhead.
Claudia thought of how fortunate she was to have been Austin’s wife. She had been so many places and done so many things, all in the company of one of the most pleasant and kind men on the planet. Sure his body was a little stiffer and their dances were not as athletic as they once were, but Austin still was her winter prince. In her mind she could picture them dancing and entrancing each other on the ice well into their eighties. Claudia had always been able to console herself by imagining Austin’s smiling face just before he dipped her towards the ice or lifted her into the air.
Even though the music being played over the sound system was relatively soft, Austin and Claudia both seemed content to skate with almost no conversation. When being held by Austin, Claudia would occasionally break the silence by letting him know how sweet she thought he was, or how well he was skating despite the long lay-off.
Despite her recent obsession with simplicity and austerity, Claudia still loved these romantic excursions. Over all, she was amazed at how much restraint Austin had always shown regarding flaunting or exhibiting his wealth. During the entire time they had been apart, this was the first time Austin even approached using his resources to woo her. In her estimation, any other man in Austin’s position would have tried to win her back through showering her with gifts and luxuries.
Though Austin was seldom paid in cash for his services, he almost always received stock options as compensation. As a sign of personal confidence and devotion to a client, Austin purchased shares of stocks in the companies with whom he was about to work. He would keep these shares well after he completed his business with a company, and only transferred them to a new client after he figured his work was no longer impacting the stock.
One day Claudia decided she wanted to get some indication of Austin’s worth. She jotted down on a piece of paper all the shares of as many stocks Austin could recall being a part of his portfolio. She took out the Friday paper and began tabulating how much his stocks were worth on that day. The more she added the more nervous she became. She quit before she was even 3/4 through the list. She felt dizzy and her body began to quake soon after she reached a billion, and by the second billion she found it almost impossible to breathe.
Claudia wondered if Austin’s father’s gambling problem had anything to do with his being so frugal. She wondered what feelings his accumulated wealth afforded him. Did it give him a sense of power and control? Did it make him feel better than his father, or was it his way of proving to himself that he was different than his father?
The entire time they had been skating Claudia saw no one. Even though she occasionally heard the echo of something being moved or dropped, she still did not see a soul. Claudia found the feeling of dancing alone in the huge cavernous stadium to be very intoxicating. To be center stage in a place where near twenty thousand people were usually in attendance made her feel oddly invisible, almost ethereal.
They had this whole world to themselves and Claudia felt flushed and aroused by being so alone in a public place. Claudia felt herself blush as she suddenly felt naked in Austin’s gaze. Seemingly aware of her condition, Austin drew her to him and gave her a long kiss as they slowly glided from one end of the ice to the other.
Over the next ten minutes Claudia’s mind was fixed on the moment. Just like in the car, Claudia savored each sensation, giving herself completely to the experience at hand. She felt the wind, Austin’s breath on her neck when they came together, and the warmth of his hand against hers as they twirled at center ice. Claudia became embarrassed when she realized Austin had been focused on these sensations the entire time her mind had been drifting.
“We’ve got to be going now,” Austin’s voice said remorsefully breaking the quiet.
Claudia nodded, but stayed silent trying to hold on to the mood. She laid her head on his shoulder and clung on to his body as they drifted over to the door near the penalty box. Before exiting the ice, Claudia placed her hand on the side of Austin’s face and stared at him for a long moment. Austin smiled and returned the look of appreciation.
Austin and Claudia sat quietly together on the bench towards the middle of the rink. Claudia’s body was tingling as she got out of her skates. Her feeling warm in the very cool stadium somehow reminded her of being at midnight mass for Christmas. She began humming Silent Night to express the feelings of serenity and awe she felt at the moment. When both were through getting their shoes back on, Austin drew close to Claudia who continued to hum as she laid her head on his shoulder.
“Do you know where we can get some hot chocolate?” Claudia asked interrupting her humming.
“Don’t you think you’re taking this Christmas thing a little too far?”, asked Austin playfully.
“No, not really,” dead-panned Claudia.
All throughout lunch their conversation was light and playful. They exchanged good hearted insults with each other and poked fun at everything from the menu to the diners retro-decor. Claudia, feeling like a pampered kitten, had three cups of hot chocolate with her egg salad sandwich and apple pie. Austin did his best to keep Claudia’s Christmas mirage alive by recalling humorous events in their marriage which occurred during the dead of winter.
When they returned outside the once sunny day had become overcast and quite nippy. Claudia said she would like to spend the afternoon walking through art galleries, antique shops, and bookstores. Austin did not object despite the fact he realized he would have to traverse the entire city to get to the artsy districts located at its most northeastern fringes.
Arriving at some of their favorite haunts Claudia immediately took over. Wanting to save her favorite art galleries for the end, she whisked them into all the antique and book stores in the area. Both Austin and Claudia preferred the smaller used bookstores to the larger newer ones. Claudia complained often about feeling overwhelmed by the sheer number of objects and books in the larger stores. Austin, especially in the large antique stores, agreed the sheer volume of items on display made it impossible for him to appreciate the beauty of any one piece.
Their conversations covered many subjects and were always peppered with sarcasm and humor regarding observations of the people and objects they were viewing. Yet, in the end Claudia found herself steering the conversation back to her wish for human life to become simpler and less extravagant.
After a good two hours of sifting through some of their favorite shops, Claudia found herself needing nourishment. Following a brief snack at a quaint little cafe, Claudia was ready to take on the galleries.
When it came to art, Austin deferred to Claudia as the expert. He viewed art as a foreign language and was content to have Claudia be his interpreter. He had been around art enough to make general comments regarding style, form and even content, but he viewed himself as a tourist who only knew enough Italian to get by in Rome. Claudia, on the other hand, spoke the language of art fluently being able to observe nuances and meanings which far exceeded Austin’s interpretive powers.
The modern art they viewed usually involved some critique of current civilization. This provided a vehicle for Claudia to further articulate her concerns regarding the madness of modern life contrasting it with the simple and peaceful life promulgated by eastern thought. At one point Claudia stopped in front of an oriental painting of a stark nature seen drawn on rice paper. She extolled its simplicity claiming that Westerners often clutter their paintings with so many unnecessary symbols and objects, while the Eastern artist depicts nature in its efficient, non-wasteful self.
“That’s one of the problems I have with Oriental art,” Austin said meekly while wondering if it was wise to express this thought to Claudia right now. “Many of their drawing show nature as being stark and simple, and their philosophers describes life and nature as being efficient and peaceful. Yet, nature is not stark, and its outward order only exists on a larger level.”
“What do you mean?” Claudia asked sounding both irritated and intrigued.
“Evolution has shown us that life does not become simpler and stark, but more complicated, sophisticated and plentiful. The number of organisms and species on the planet seems to proliferate, rather than diminish over time. The food chain, despite man’s intervention, seems to become more complicated and specialized each century. Even though man has caused the extinction of many animals and vegetation and thereby greatly altering the food chain, nature comes back with a vengeance and the number of organisms and micro-organisms appears to be increasing rather than decreasing.”
Claudia was a little angry at herself for not considering any of this during her many reveries about nature. Yet, her curiosity was stronger than her self-recriminations and her eyes beckoned Austin to continue.
“A lot of people complain saying mankind is wasteful, and modern society is exploitative. They contrast this with nature depicting it as efficient and pure. Yet, many animals are as wasteful as man, if they weren’t there wouldn’t be so many scavengers and parasites. Nature and its creatures are terribly inefficient, that is why it can support the survival of the countless creatures that inhabit every molecule of existence.”
Austin paused for a moment and seeing Claudia was content to listen continued, “When there is waste in nature, some organism or creature fills in that gap to consume that waste and becomes the prey of another creature. The temporary chaos and inefficiency of nature is overcome by the constant proliferation of new life, of new creatures.”
“If nature always creates creatures to deal with waste,” Claudia countered enthusiastically, “then why are the wastes of man such as pollution and his synthetic garbage not being consumed?”
“Actually there is evidence that nature is creating creatures and micro-organisms which consume aspects of our waste. The major difference is, we are creating waste faster than nature is producing organisms to deal with it. Evolution does not move as quickly as man, yet at some point nature always provides some way to deal with our excesses. In the past the strains man has put on the environment has been dealt with through plagues and disease, giving micro-organisms a chance to curtail our activities through depopulation and sickness.”
“Mankind begins to look a lot better when you look at the cruelty of nature, when you see how every creature exploits and devours another. Even our most barbaric forms of torture pale in comparison to the daily activities of many spiders, wasps, cats, and parasites.”
Austin smiled and asked Claudia if she wanted him to stop. She said no, and that she wanted to hear him finish off his thoughts. Feeling they needed to take a break from the discussion Austin asked questions about some of the other paintings in the gallery. Only after they left the gallery did Austin pick up his train of thought.
“Our discussion reminds me of the classic debate regarding the belief in a perfect God. If God were perfect, then why did he create an imperfect world? Why did evil exist? Some argued that creating just a good world would be creating only half of what God could create, and therefore be an action of an imperfect God. A perfect God, being all powerful, would have to create everything imaginable. A perfect God would by definition have to create all that was evil as well as all that was good.”
“I remember St. Agnes saying things like that when I was in grade school,” Claudia admitted. “She said God, being perfect, was all everything. She said our understanding being limited could not comprehend life’s meaning, and therefore, that is why belief in the mystery of God and his creation was our best way of knowing him.”
“Yet, our science seems to validate this view of creation. No matter where we look, whether it be an electron microscope or a telescope mounted on distant planets, we find endless plentitude. No matter how vast our knowledge we always find an infinite amount of material left for us to ponder.”
“Many believe our society is at odds against nature,” Austin said knowing Claudia was one of them. “Yet, I believe that capitalism more than any other social format, replicates the ways of nature. The activities of free enterprise mirrors that of nature’s food chain. The competition between species is like the competition between businesses. An incompetent business becomes extinct just as an ill equipped species. The void left by one defunct company will quickly be filled by another, just as the disappearance of one prey announces the emergence of another. Highly efficient companies acquire a privileged position just like a competent species carves out a formidable niche in the food chain.”
“Free enterprise like nature moves towards plenitude, towards endless expansion. People expressed the fear that automation would spell the end of free enterprise, they said corporate downsizing would kill the economy. Little did they realize how each new invention, product and service necessitated the creation of a multitude of related businesses, just as every creature must be both prey and predator. I believe people underestimate the fecundity and resourcefulness of both nature and modern society.”
As Austin talked on Claudia began to get a better picture of the roots of his optimism. She could see that for Austin man was not really so much overcoming nature as becoming one with its methods and objectives.
The rest of the afternoon Claudia was content to spend her time listening to Austin expound on his world view. Austin was pleased to have the opportunity to bounce his ideas off of Claudia and hopefully win her back by erasing her fears regarding the business world.