The strong winds off of Lake Michigan whipped through the busy city streets. Pedestrians walking down Michigan Avenue hold on to hats as they are either being pushed or held back by gale after gale. On a day like today a person walking down the street is encapsulated in their own little world. Instead of car horns and buses their ears only hear the flapping of their clothes and the percussive blasts and howls made by the wind.
Tall skyscrapers do provide short interludes from the wind for those on foot. Yet, every time they emerge out from a building’s protection you see them stagger as they renew their battle against the wind. Those brave enough to walk along the beach are pushed and pulled mercilessly as they struggle to walk as normally as possible.
Despite the unceasing fierceness of the wind, people on the street are smiling and are generally more friendly than usual. Eye contact and nods abound as people good naturedly acknowledge each other’s struggle against the brute force of nature. Other than along the beach the winds are relatively warm and oddly comforting. After a long cold winter, this is the way spring is announced in Chicago.
A man casually strolling along the lake turns his face up to the sky to feel the warm rays of the sun. The winds along the lake aren’t chilly enough to make him numb, but rather are found to be quite stimulating. Though his body is covered in goose bumps, his face is comforted by the warm rays of the noon day sun. Truly invigorated by this spring day, Austin’s spirit soars like a kite.
Austin can not imagine a more fortunate man than himself. He is successful, wealthy, healthy and in the full throes of spring love. While others toiled in offices, he had the freedom to take a long aimless stroll along the lake. This day, this wonderful spring day, seemed to be made just for him.
This evening like almost every one these last two weeks he planned on calling Claudia and talking to her till they both had nothing more to say. Though they were still living apart, they were talking, and what better time to court someone than in the spring.
At times Austin found it hard to restrain himself and not try to force the relationship to grow at a faster pace. Yet, he knew the only hope for their marriage was for Claudia to come back on her terms and on her time schedule. The tenderness in Claudia’s voice each time they talked made it possible for Austin to take his time. They had always been close, an incredible team, and yet somehow they seemed to be developing an even more intimate and satisfying relationship.
Only by stepping away was he able to see her in this new light. Seeing her at a distance gave him new perspectives of not only her but himself. Austin felt he had known Claudia quite well, but now he understood her so much better.
Just as the experience of winter makes the arrival of spring all the more glorious, so had his time away from Claudia made their moments together all the more amazing. He admired her for many things, especially for having the courage to risk all security and trying to make their relationship even more special.
The resumption of Claudia into his life provided Austin with boundless energy. He felt like a dynamo, and the world and all its challenges were no match for him and Claudia. While others saw difficult times ahead, Austin could only see unfettered success and happiness. Austin wondered how anyone could see the buds on the trees, and the emerging crocus shoots and not feel optimistic.
Enthralled by the growth of spring one needed almost no imagination to sense the coming fertility of summer. Immersed in the promise of spring Austin found himself to be an endless thunderstorm of ideas. Campaigns which usually took days to design, now took hours.
Work was fun, but took up less and less of his time. This afforded Austin plenty of time to dream, to feel grateful, and to feel so connected to nature and to Claudia, the love of his life. Austin smiled at himself for feeling so childlike, for feeling so young and alive. He wondered how many middle aged men felt this way even for a brief moment, let alone the entire electric days which now pleasantly comprised his life.
Lying in the grass a few miles away, Claudia leaned on her elbows as she considered what next to draw. The cutting wind had made it difficult for her to steady her sketch pad, which she now anchored down with her stomach as she used it as a mat. She considered moving towards a spot sheltered from the wind, but the view from her current position was beyond lovely. Swinging her head from side to side she was able to see budding trees and flowers, squirrels, birds, and children at play. Tilting her head upwards she could see the sun atop a bright cloudless sky, a few high flying kites, and a local church’s Gothic looking spire.
She had situated herself at that particular spot not only because of the view but because it was dry. Her current perch was out in the sun and slightly higher than the surrounding earth. Everywhere else she had tried to sit was wet or at least moist enough to draw out the lingering winter’s cold from the earth.
Claudia realized trying to draw while being exposed to this wind was rather fool hardy. Yet her sketch pad was like a security blanket and, therefore, she didn’t mind toting it along. Besides, if the wind were to die down, she wouldn’t have to walk all the way back to her apartment to retrieve her pad.
Feeling a little hungry Claudia sat herself up and retrieved the apple she had placed in the pocket of her sweater. She loved the crunch sound an apple made when she first bit into it, to her it was a signal that the apple was sour and juicy.
Cradled in the beauty of the day Claudia used her snack break as an excuse to reflect. The first thing she thought of was her recent discussion with Todd Platt who had called shortly before she left for the park this morning. Though Todd was initially flustered to learn Claudia and Austin were currently communicating with each other, he quickly switched gears and looked for a story.
Claudia was intrigued by the pendulum-like swings in Todd’s questions. If she answered one question in a positive manner, then his next questions leaned towards everything being described as the best or perfect. If she then answered something in a critical manner then the following questions tried to establish how everything was bad or the worst.
She realized it was just Todd’s way to try and find a story to write, but she found it amusing and interesting anyway. When she talked to Todd she could actually feel him searching for a known story line or cinematic format to force upon her and Austin’s life together. Everything had to fit into a specific formula, to be a one-sided caricature of the real world. At each turn he tried to manipulate the actual events and feelings Claudia was describing into a black or white world of good vs evil, or right vs wrong.
Todd was incapable of accepting the possibility of telling a balanced story. No matter what she said he struggled to find the right perspective to tell the story. The choices were simple, either Austin was this incredible genius, a hero with no flaws, or he was a tragic product of modern society whose life was slowly spinning out of control. Any attempt on Claudia’s part to present Austin in a balanced fashion only caused Todd to flip from one extreme view to the other. As the conversation wore on Todd was obviously becoming increasingly frustrated with Claudia for constantly changing her story.
By the end of the conversation Claudia was convinced Todd had all but given up on using her input for his story. Her intuition seemed to be reaffirmed when at the end of the conversation Todd curtly thanked Claudia for her candor and made no mention of calling her again. Claudia figured Todd would either find a different angle for the story or decide not to use Austin as the main subject for his piece.
The conversation with Todd just reinforced Claudia’s contention that the situation with her and Austin was very unique. She finds it very hard to describe it to herself let alone anyone else. A couple of days ago she became frustrated with herself when she tried to explain her current feelings and describe her current relationship with Austin to Kendra. Kendra was her usual supportive self, but Claudia got the impression that Kendra was never able to understand or empathize with the dilemma she was trying to articulate.
On one level Claudia was so happy to have Austin back into her life. It was like she had found her reading glasses and now saw everything more clearly and in focus. Each day she felt happier and more content than the previous one, and anxiously awaited her next conversation with Austin. Each night she fantasized his presence next to her, and found it harder and harder to resist the desire to invite him over for the night.
Yet, even though they were talking, nothing truly had changed. Austin’s world, the real world she had fled, still frightened her. She knew she would feel dirty and depressed the moment she were to return to Austin full time. Their love and her happiness existed outside of that world, and she knew the quicker they moved the sooner she would feel soiled and suffocated.
She didn’t want Austin out of her life, and she knew their attraction would sooner or later pull them together. Despite these realities she had no idea of what to do next. Talking on the telephone was relatively safe, but even with such calculated distance she felt herself being pulled back towards Austin. She knew she was like a snow bird who once in the air would fly back to her summer home. Even if she knew the flight home would cause her great harm or sorrow, she would not be able to save herself.
Finishing her apple, Claudia laid down on her back and looked up at the sky. Sighing deeply, she watched a few birds fly overhead and wondered about her snow bird analogy. She wondered how long a bird who knew its prey was nearby could stay nested. She wondered at what point the desire to fly would be stronger than its will for self preservation.
The more she watched the birds the harder it became to hold onto these dark thoughts. The soaring birds looked so content, so in love with flight. She wondered how she could even contemplate a bird’s life without flight. Smiling at herself for being so melancholy, Claudia began what had now become her daily search for a solution.
Austin’s long walk ended at Water Tower Place, where he was content to spend a little time window shopping. Austin viewed window shopping as a rather painless business obligation. While most people merely looked at the items on display, Austin critiqued each display from both an artistic and utilitarian standpoint. He found it important to note which colors and shapes stood out, as well as which ones were most predominantly displayed. He noted everything from what was on sale, to what items were located in the visual hot spots in the stores and store windows.
Even though he seldom engaged in simple ad campaigns, Austin did try to stay up-to-date with events in this arena. While looking over merchandise and how it was presented he tried to identify which ad agency was handling which companies. The politics of merchandising was very complex and Austin never tired of trying to divine the behind-the-scenes power plays which result in each individual store’s choices of what to give prime visual space to and why.
Austin seldom window shopped from a consumer’s viewpoint, but rather with the social scientific eye of a seasoned ad man. Austin believed almost anyone could make a fortune in the stock market if they looked at stores with such a critical eye. This did not only apply to retail stores, but to any establishment selling merchandise. He was convinced anyone keenly aware in changes regarding presentation of products from cars, to computers, to refrigerators could use this knowledge to safely predict changes in the stock prices of a number of corporations.
Today, Austin found it difficult to retain his scientific clarity. In almost every store and every display window Austin found himself thinking like a consumer. No matter what store he was in he kept finding things he would like to purchase for Claudia. Most of these items were purely romantic, yet some of them were quite pragmatic and had to do with long-term interests like art supplies and specialty books.
On two or three occasions Austin actually picked out an item he planned on purchasing for Claudia. Each time he returned it to the shelves before he actually got to the register. He knew such tangible gifts would be too obvious of a courting gesture and probably result in making Claudia tense up or retreat.
As usual, Austin spent a good portion of his time in each store watching other people shop. He tried to assess where people stopped most often in the store, what caught their eye, what type of placement appealed to kids more than adults, etc. Sometimes he would even report his findings to a bewildered store manager. Occasionally he would meet a store manager who truly appreciated and valued his input. In those rare cases, Austin would make it a habit to give oral reports a few times a year.
Austin found himself following one couple in particular for a good ten minutes or so. They drew his attention not due to their shopping habits, but rather because they were so obviously in love with each other. When Austin realized he was being blind to their consumer habits and was instead vicariously observing their relationship, he decided to stop window shopping and return outside.
Once outside Austin continued to amble slowly down the city streets. The day was indeed glorious, and he looked at everything with a poet’s eye, with the eye of a man smitten and in love. He finally accepted that for him, all was Claudia, and the day belonged to daydreams and fantasies of her.