Sitting cross legged on the floor leaning up against the bed she takes a deep breath. Since her mouth is dry she is very conscious of the flow of air as it scrapes across her throat. Her hands are sweaty and her stomach growls nervously. Closing her eyes she rolls her neck around in a slow circle while taking another long cleansing breath.
Though his alma matter had never made it past the second round, he enjoys watching the tournament. As usual he finds himself pulling for the underdog. In this game it just so happens to be De Paul whose speed and quickness are the only thing keeping them in the game against the highly touted team from Kansas.
The room is filled with munchies ranging from nachos with bean dip to homemade french fries. The volume on the television is turned up to enhance atmosphere, providing one total immersion into the frenzied spirit of the event. Unconsciously he leans forward and rocks slightly as the 6-0 run by De Paul has brought them to within four with less than six minutes remaining in the contest.
Over the din of the TV he hears the phone ringing and despite the game’s excitement decides to answer the phone. Turning down the volume to a whisper he picks up the receiver.
“Hello,” said the voice solid and assured.
Startled for a brief moment by the familiarity of his voice Claudia finally managed to return the greeting.
“Claudia?” Austin queried. The one word reply filled with a mixture of anxiety and pleasure.
“Yes, Austin, it’s me,” Claudia managed to say despite the fact a sudden flood of anxiety gripped her throat.
Though he had hoped for, and even rehearsed this moment many times, Austin found it hard to think of anything to say. Claudia, too, overwhelmed by a flood of emotion found it almost impossible to speak.
“So, aren’t you calling a couple of days early?, Austin offered attempting to ease the tension.
“What do you mean?”, Claudia asked feeling confused and oddly guilty.
“It’s not April 1st yet. Couldn’t you wait to play a prank on me till then?, Austin responded nervously while pressing the mute button on the remote.
Claudia, absorbed in her own panic, did not hear the anxiety in his voice. Instead, she was amazed at how quickly he took an opportunity to make a joke, and how wonderful it was to hear his voice.
“I’ve been waiting a long time to give you a call,” Claudia said still unsure of what to say.
“I admire your restraint,” Austin’s sarcasm revealed more of an edge than he wanted to show.
The hurt and anger in Austin’s reply hit Claudia hard. “I deserve that,” she said to herself.
Repentant and sad Austin was the next to speak. “I’ve been waiting for you to call for so long. Though I’ve rehearsed this conversation a hundred times, I find it hard to know what to say.”
“I’m sorry,” Claudia mumbled quickly. “Maybe this was a mistake…”
“No, sweetheart,” Austin said with urgent humility. “Hearing from you is never a mistake. I’m just finding I’m more interested in listening to you, than in reciting prepared speeches.”
“Did I call at a bad time?” Claudia asked feeling a need to flee the situation. “I could call back later.”
Seeing that Kansas had pulled back ahead by twelve Austin turned off the TV. “I was watching a basketball game, but it was pretty much over anyway.”
“Oh God,” Claudia admitted somewhat apologetically, “I totally forgot about the tournament. I really could call back at a better time.”
“If you hung up now,” Austin declared, “I probably wouldn’t sleep until you called again.”
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about why I left, and I believe I’ve figured it out.”
“You called to tell me why you left?” Austin asked sounding slightly horrified, mostly insulted.
“No, not exactly,” Claudia admitted nervously. “Such a conversation would be impossible over the phone. I guess I’m calling to invite you over so we can talk about it.”
“You want to see me in person to explain why we’re not together,” Austin stated sounding bewildered and crestfallen.
“God, it sounded so much more sane when I said it to myself,” Claudia sheepishly admitted.
“Is this a dinner invitation?” Austin asked incredulously. “What kind of wine does one bring to their nightmare?”
“I’m not intending to be cruel,” Claudia said defensively. “But, how can one find a solution if one doesn’t talk about the problem?”
“So, you think there’s a solution?” Austin said hopefully.
“I’m just saying we have to begin somewhere,” Claudia stated somewhat coldly. “Even if we were to stay apart, I feel we both need to learn what went wrong.”
“I always figured you would only call when you were ready to come home.”
“No, baby, I’m not ready to come home,” she admitted tenderly, deeply touched by the vulnerability Austin revealed in his last statement. “But, I am ready to start to see you and to try to work things out.”
Austin quickly struggled to overcome his hurt and anger. Even though Claudia wasn’t coming home, she was making a concerted effort to reestablish contact. Though disappointed by her caution, he did realize this was an opportunity he couldn’t afford to turn down.
Part of Claudia wanted to run away in shame, the other part of her wanted to run home and hold Austin till her arms gave way with fatigue. Hearing his voice was like opening a chest full of fond childhood memories. Her mind drifted from the content of the conversation as she tried to imagine Austin seated on the couch talking to her. She felt a pulse of warmth as she locked in on this picture.
“I’m sorry I’m being so difficult,” Austin admitted sounding contrite. “Your phone call just caught me off guard and I was pretty wound up from the game.”
His voice softened further as he added, “Sure I’d love to come over and talk. In fact, I’d love to come over and just be near you. Even if all we did was argue at least I’d have the pleasure of seeing you.”
Though what he said would probably sound strange to an outsider, she knew exactly how he felt. Claudia turned sideways and snuggled her body up against the bed by pulling her knees up towards her chin and laying her temple against the top of the mattress. Her fears had subsided and she now desired to spend some time talking to her best friend and estranged husband.
Claudia’s efforts to set a time for them to get together revealed Austin was leaving town for a few days. After setting a date for next weekend, they both suddenly found it impossible to end the conversation. Austin took the opportunity to tell her everything he had written in the letter he never finished and to catch her up on the latest business gossip.
Over the next few minutes they both considered telling the other they were hanging up and would be right over. Yet, neither of them even hinted at ending the calm and comfort of their pleasant conversation. They were like campers lingering near a blazing campfire on a brisk spring evening, unwilling to leave the warmth and face the cold and lonely trek back to their separate tents.
Claudia realized the warmth of the bedroom would vanish the moment she hung up the phone. Austin knew Claudia’s absence from their home would be more pronounced tonight. They both clung on to the conversation like a security blanket sensing the emptiness which lurked in the silence awaiting them.
The long relaxed talk with Austin proved to Claudia just how tense her body had become. She felt her head, shoulders and belly soften and soften till she could barely imagine her body even contained bone or muscle. The more she melted the sleepier she got.
Finally she asked Austin to hold on for a minute as she quickly brushed her teeth, slipped into a night gown and crawled into bed. As usual, Claudia found her bedtime preparations had actually revitalized her. Getting back on the phone she converted the sudden burst of energy she garnered through the cold water and cold sheets into rapid fire dialogue.
Yet, within ten minutes the burst was over and she found herself groggy and secure in her warm bed. As she slowed down her voice took on a sleepy sensual quality Austin had always found very sexy. Sensing this, Claudia increased the sensuality in her voice by talking in a whisper and adopting the playful hushed laugh she knew Austin loved.
Realizing this could only add to his frustration Austin endeavored to end the conversation. Though dead tired, Claudia could not resist toying with Austin a few minutes more. The longer she played with Austin the more she could feel his desire and his frustration. Lying in a warm bed and swathed in Austin’s love and desire, Claudia was finally ready for sleep.
Claudia fell asleep moments after hanging up the phone. Austin, on the other hand, spent the next several hours watching basketball and late night movies. He knew the next week would be a long one. The entire time he would feel like he was standing in line waiting for a big event. The only problem was he wasn’t sure if he should feel excitement or dread. Was his date with Claudia a beginning or an end?