A good portion of this site is devoted to my artistic works. If you click on the music tab you will have a menu of CD’s of my music to choose from. This section includes not only the mp3′s to click on,but also the lyrics to each song.
When you click on the words tab you will get a menu of a few of my novels and non-fiction works to look over. Just today I completed uploading all the chapters of Public Relations for your perusal.
Within a few days I will complete the uploading of A Twist of Faith which currently has the first five chapters available tp be read. In the non-fiction section Exploring Intimacy is complete while the other books all have five or so chapters uploaded.
I should add a CD or so each year, while also updating mixes of past CD’s. I would greatly appreciate hearing which mixes work best for you as I am tinkering with many of the mixes to best deal with the medium of computer sound systems.
So, tonight I’ll get you started with an intro and first chapter of Public Relations. Here it is and enjoy.
Public Relations an Intro
Claudia thought she had found the perfect man in Austin. He was intelligent, funny and very caring. Yet, despite all these great qualities, she found it increasingly difficult to rectify this loving man with the way he conducted his professional life.
Austin was a PR man for the rich and the famous in both the corporate and political worlds. Though Claudia admired Austin’s goals she finally decided to leave him because of his methods. Austin, a master of influence and propaganda, always knew what to say and how to make everyone feel important and special.
Did Austin really love Claudia and respect her, or did he just know how to handle her? Was she his life partner or another client to please and manipulate? Claudia is not sure of the answers and is not sure if she would ever take him back even if she proved to herself that he really did love her. Is it possible for a man to be too perfect or for doting, affection and care to be a negative in a relationship?
Claudia’s dilemma is causing her to grow and flourish in many ways. Her eyes have been opened and with that so has her mind. No matter what happens in regards to her relationship with Austin, Claudia is sure to come out the other end a better person.
Chapter 1 Background Noise
She knew she was there somewhere. Somewhere beyond the buzzing of the seemingly endless cacophony of thoughts, fears, and self-doubt she sensed her world still existed. Was she dizzy, lost or just plain disconnected from her body? She wasn’t quite sure if any of these were possibilities. “Ms. Jenkins are you still there,” an urgent voice leapt into the stream heading into the whirlpool inside her head.
“My God,” she said to herself half-heartedly latching onto a fleeting thought, “I’m on the phone”.
“Ms. Jenkins” the voice once again sought her out.
“I’m sorry,” she heard herself rasp, “what was your name again?”
“Todd Platt,” he offered eagerly, “if….”
“I’m sorry Mr. Platt,” she interrupted frantically, “but, I really can’t say one way or another right now. You’ll just have to give me a few days to consider your proposition… Once I’ve had time to mull it over awhile I’ll give you a call back. I’ve got to go right now, so I’ll contact you in a couple of days. Thanks! Bye now!”
“Ms. Jenkins,” Todd anxiously bellowed, “but, you don’t have my number!”
Though her head was still spinning and her breathing was still fast and shallow she smirked self-deprecatingly at her foolishness while adding, “Just give me a call back in a few days. I just need some time. O.K.?”
“No problem Ms. Jenkins, I’ll give you a call at the end of the week.”
Putting herself on auto-pilot Claudia began playing back the conversation in her mind while she finished with the formal good-byes and pleasantries with Mr. Platt. The conversation had started innocuous enough, just another one of those phone calls by a young graduate student who was a big fan of Austin’s. He said he was doing some research on Austin and wanted to ask her a few questions.
She was so used to the questions regarding how he got his start in the business and what she thought were his major accomplishments. She never even bristled when they asked personal questions regarding their relationship, and the way he was outside of work. Actually, she had loved those questions. It was so nice to talk about how affectionate and caring he was, how different he was from the stereotypic work-aholic-ad-man one hears about.
She was always surprised at how the interviewer felt him or herself unique in wanting to do a research paper on one of the most prestigious men behind the scenes. As if only those closest in the industry knew the powerful men who influence, if not create, everything from fashion to fads to hard news.
Austin himself would get a kick out of hearing what she had told the interviewers, often encouraging her to say the most outlandish things to the greener and more inexperienced inquisitors. Though Austin relished being the man who controlled the action anonymously from behind the scenes, he also craved the incessant recognition he got in his field, and the wide-eyed reverence he got from kids starting out in the realm of public relations. Knowing he could do no wrong in the eyes of these young up-starts, he enjoyed pushing the envelope by fabricating the most outlandish “facts” about his youth or personal life.
This was not the first interviewer she had talked to since she left Austin, but the direction of this Q & A had to it an eerie feel. It aroused in Claudia the feelings of fear, paranoia and depression which had caused her to flee everything that previously had been the source of all the joy and meaning she experienced in her life.
Her inner cyclone started as soon as this Platt fellow began talking about making a movie about Austin. This was no ordinary grad student or gushing fan but in the least a very ambitious young man with grandiose aspirations. Suddenly the questions became more invasive and challenging, and the tone quickly deteriorated into that of tabloid journalism. When he told her he really wanted to know her side of the story, her fears instantly mushroomed into full fledged panic.
What could he possibly mean? There were no sides. What did he want her to say? Surely, he couldn’t possibly understand why she deserted the most tender and thoughtful man she ever knew? Undoubtedly, this ambitious young man full of raging hormones couldn’t comprehend her abandoning a pampered existence full of passion and unbridled sensuality. Did he want to know Austin was and in some perverted way still remained her best friend, a warm and intelligent person willing to discuss any topic and share any feeling?
As she parried away this question, Mr. Platt machine gunned a few more at her. Each question seemed predatory in nature but Claudia was unsure whether she was supposed to be the predator or the prey. All she knew was she felt trapped and needed to spring herself free.
No matter how insensitive the question, Mr. Platt kept a joyful almost playful voice tone. Austin’s line of work was full of these Mr. Platts whose disarming demeanor contradicted their competitive and manipulative words.
She began to fear the man’s motives for doing this project. Why would someone want to expose Austin in this way? Did Austin know of this possible project and what would he do if he found out?
Yet, something in the questions had her wonder if it was Austin himself behind the project. Was this interviewer part of some scheme of Austin’s? Was he checking up on her, or was he testing her to see what she would say now that they were apart? Was he protecting his interests, or once again trying to control her? Were these thoughts unfair on her part, and even if he were aware of this interview, was he doing it as an attempt to get her out of her gloom?
Maybe it was only what it appeared to be, a young man with unrealistic aspirations. Yet, Austin had long taught her that even the most innocent looking situations are usually contrived or at least exploited by those in marketing and image making. Her years of being with Austin made it impossible for her to be pacified or reassured by a style of speech, or a gracious smile. Her world had become one of content, and no matter how pleasant he presented himself, all Claudia could smell was a wolf.
What would Austin do if a movie were being made of him, and what role would he want her to play? Would he at some point buy out the project either to make it his, or to keep it harmlessly on some shelf somewhere?
Claudia’s awareness came out of this fever and she caught herself in the mirror. Now in the quiet of her soft white bedroom she began to piece herself back together. Taking a deep breath she looked into her own eyes and face.
She felt it a bit ironic to see the woman looking back at her seeming so symmetrical and beautiful. Even in her robe and without make-up she still had an eternal beauty. Austin had told her countless times that her beauty was both pure and perpetual. Pure, he said, because she paid no attention to it, and perpetual because she never seemed to age.
Looking at herself, she could see that he was right. Her oval face and delicate features forced one to look at her deep brown eyes. Her thick shimmering dark brown hair neither straight nor curly just framed her face luring one ever further into her eyes.
While many beautiful women take advantage of outstanding features such as high cheek bones, or pouty lips, Claudia’s face had no protrusions. This allowed her beauty to be both subtle and lasting, for she did not have the type of facial landscape that would age with deepening groves, lines or furrows. Her face had a graceful slope to it, so subtle and balanced were the contours of her face that even the most gifted artist would have trouble finding a quality dominating enough to render as a caricature.
The symmetry of her face repeated itself all the way down to her toes. Her breasts were big and full enough to catch a man’s eye, but not so ample as to prematurely fall prey to the demands of gravity. Her breath-taking composition of sleek curves had her appear much taller than her actual height of 5′4″.
There she sat transfixed on the irony of how tired and empty she felt and how vibrant and glowing she looked. Many times she wished she could let people see how bored or tired she felt. This could have greatly reduced the number of times friends over stayed their welcome, or disturbed her far too early in the morning. Yet, no matter how hard she tried she could never get herself to look haggard or the least bit drawn. Looking at herself she never would guess how rotten she was feeling. She wondered if this were nature’s way of insuring her with a little dishonesty.
She wondered if and when she could retrieve her life. Austin’s influence on her view of the world had not only been strong, but pervasive. Very early in the relationship she remembered feeling angry at Austin for treating her like a child by hiding from her all the realities of the world. Yet, as time went on, she felt an even stronger anger at his exposing her to too much. She had often hoped that Austin’s world was only what it was supposed to be, a world of fabrication and make believe. Yet, the more he pulled back the curtain, the more real or even necessary his world seemed.
At the moment she yearned for innocence lost, but she doubted that could be achieved. Yet, maybe she could come out the other side, happy and optimistic, but just not as naive.