GuidoWorld

Pleasure and Beauty 2

September 30, 2007 on 7:37 pm | In General |

Pleasure and beauty are neither synonyms nor opposites. In most cases a certain amount of pleasure is derived from beautiful things. Yet, one can derive pleasure from things which are unattractive or even ugly. Many unattractive foods can be very tasty and pleasurable.

There is no doubt that a beautiful face can get a man’s attention. Yet, especially for a man, satisfying sexual intercourse is about pleasure. The focus and often the goal of sex is passion, intensity and orgasm. While beauty can induce pleasure it is not a necessary ingredient to the visceral pleasures of passion and orgasm.

Since women are generally more preoccupied with beauty than men, they often view attractiveness as a vital aspect of sexuality. While many women are able to settle on a mate who they do not find exceedingly beautiful, fewer are able to engage in a sexual relationship with a man who they feel does not find them particularly beautiful.

The bulk of women’s magazines and TV talk shows spend much time discussing the importance of looking and feeling beautiful. Woman worry about their looks, aging and their bodies far more than men.

Many women would object that if men aren’t obsessed with beauty then why do so many married men have affairs with younger women or remarry younger women? If this stereotype is true than the question could be why do so many women who are so concerned about beauty have affairs with older men, or marry divorced men who are significantly older than themselves?

One explanation is that it is common for both men and women’s sex drives to decrease as they get older, and it is only natural for a man open to an affair to be looking for a woman with a higher sex drive than his wife and more akin to his. Also people’s life styles during the child bearing years often make frequent sex a logistic hardship, and therefore only a younger woman will be accessible to the time and sexual demands of the philandering husband. There also are a ton of psychological theories which talk of a woman’s desire to seek out a father figure in sexual relationships.

This is not to deny that men will more often approach and proposition beautiful women. It is only to try to put into perspective the role of beauty in sexual interest and satisfaction.

A woman who is comfortable with herself and who enjoys sex is inherently more attractive then a woman of similar beauty who is sexually insecure or disinterested. A woman who finds sex pleasurable and makes an effort to please the man she’s with will, in the majority of cases, not have to worry about his becoming dissatisfied with the relationship.

A beautiful woman is often more comfortable with themselves and their body. This often translates into their being more open to sex and to being naked. Since sexually healthy men want passionate and uninhibited sex and the female body is the thing they find most captivating in life, then it is only logical that they would gravitate towards women who appear to view themselves as beautiful.

This entire discussion on beauty and pleasure is a lead in to what I feel is the most important element of a successful life long monogamous relationship from a man’s point of view. This will be taken up in my next post in a discussion centering on male and female sexual compatibility and appetite.

Jim Guido