GuidoWorld

Personal Best

February 16, 2008 on 7:28 pm | In General |

Some years ago it became the in thing to make “affirmations” and to say “yes to life”. I have to admit I found this whole movement kind of artificial and irritating. The most ardent followers of this affirmative perspective looked at all competition as a negative, and effort, especially in sports, as being a sign of petty self interest.

Sports and games played when such a philosophy was present were a total farce, where the strongest proponents intentionally played poorly and ridiculed those who gave their all or took the event seriously. Though I totally agreed that winning was not the most important thing I disagreed with the idea that you do something without giving a solid effort. I’ve always enjoyed doing my best and challenging myself to improve and maintain physical and mental skills and abilities. I like to work up a good sweat and I enjoy trying to have my team and opponents improve their talent level.

It is pretty normal for people to miss the sweet spot in life and instead swing from one end of the pendulum to the other. So, on one end you have the people who treat every competition as a battle for life and death in which winning is the only thing. At the other end you have the people who feel all competition is vain and combative and destructive to the psyche of all who do not win.

I personally feel I’ve always had a relatively healthy view of sports and competitions. I’ve always enjoyed team sports and I’ve always enjoyed trying to have my team execute and perform better. If I was on a team that lost frequently I would set goals that showed improvement, such as losing by a specified number of points, or by successfully executing one of our plays more often than the previous game.

I love basketball and enjoy playing team games and one-on-one match-ups. If I play someone who is more talented than myself I will set attainable goals such as stopping a pet move they have, or make the score a little closer each game. When better than my opponent I will try to expand my game so that I just don’t take advantage of their weaknesses and continue to rout them. If they are open to it, I will give them pointers that will help them stop me or make my scoring on them more challenging.

From about third grade through the majority of high school I had one friend who I played thousands of one-on-one basketball games against. Throughout the years we continued to push each other to be better, and we always enjoyed our competitions. I recall winning more than I lost against Jake, but I have a stronger memory of how often we complemented and helped each other. Sometimes we played timing the game with a baking timer, trying to duplicate the excitement of an actual game. Yet, usually we played long games up to a hundred by ones. I would guess that well over 90% of our games were decided by five points or less.

About ten years ago we got together and played a little basketball for old times sake. Within minutes we were back to trying hard and pushing ourselves. It was like putting on  old comfortable clothes. During breaks we reminisced of old times and talked of how much fun we had. No matter how hard we played we always were smiling and complimenting each other, and I fondly remember Jake’s smile as well as his turn around jump shot.

Jake was my favorite opponent because he understood that competition was not about defeating an adversary, but rather a means of bringing out the best in all who are performing. Of course we enjoyed winning more than losing, but we also understood that their were many ways of winning and being successful.

I feel that the people who hate on competition are just as blind as those who make winning on the scoreboard the only consideration. What sports and every competition afford is the opportunity to improve oneself, to become more familiar and in control of your body and mind. Giving one’s best effort can make one into a better person.

My son had a very healthy competitive experience in high school. He was a member of the cross country team who were coached by three kind and caring individuals who challenged all the kids to do their best while praising and recognizing their improvements. Rather than focusing on who had the best time, they had the kids focus on their own personal best times. The coaches also encouraged the runners to encourage each other and to recognize the improvements each individual made in terms of personal running times and training habits. It wasn’t about trying to be the best runner, but rather looking forward and working towards making another personal best. This method proved to be not only enjoyable but highly successful, as all the kids made remarkable gains and the boys team took second in the state.

Those who rail against all competition seem to only focus on the worst aspects of overly competitive individuals. The miss all the potential mental and physical health benefits of pushing oneself to improve. After all doesn’t almost all self-development take some form of effort and personal challenge. Why would you want to deny others the good feelings that come from growth and development, and why would you want to focus only on the negative aspect of human ambition?

In the next post, entitled Stacking the Deck, I will address the last question a little more fully.

Jim Guido