GuidoWorld

Experience and the Experiencer

May 7, 2008 on 1:20 pm | In General |

I am forever aware that I am having experiences. Hardly a waking moment goes by in which I am not conscious of having an experience. Some experiences I am more present and aware than others but in almost every situation there is part of me that is having an experience.

It seems odd that something that happens so frequently in life could be so taken for granted or misunderstood. Yet, relatively few human beings have taken the  time to reflect on and appreciate the actual mechanics of human experience.

When I have an experience or recall a past event there is part of me that is experiencing and part of me that is aware of my experience.  Many spiritualists and self-help gurus advocate that we totally immerse ourselves in our experience, that we stop being in our head and be truly present. This logic emphasizes how much unnecessary chatter dominates many peoples lives and encourages people to “be here now” and to “stop and smell the roses”.

Though this may be good advice it also portrays human experience in quite a misleading fashion. While there is nothing wrong with being more present in our experience, it is deceptive to have one believe that they could ever be totally present. Not only that, but the overemphasis on being present  casts our conscious ego in a particularly negative light.

Our conscious ego is not just some babbling self-centered idiot who interferes with the quality of our experience. The ego is also the experiencer which appreciates, guides and savors our experience. Experience without someone to experience is empty and can retain no meaning. For meaning is all about consciousness, and without an individual’s awareness of his experience (the ego) no meaning and sense of personal history can be formed.

Experience without conscious awareness has no means to document or even recognize that an experience has taken place. Upon reflection it seems obvious that every human experience involves both a sensorial/perceptual  component and a conscious/reflective component.

My body is in the world. We often notice that our body seems to exist in the world without much guidance from our ego. I walk, talk, breathe and  even drive the car sometimes while basically being on auto pilot. I often become aware of my “mindless” activities when a cat comes darting out necessitating my being more conscious of the immediate situation. This being on autopilot is a time when we do find ourselves babbling to ourselves or are “lost in thought”. Yet even when we are apparently most absent from experience there is still part of us removed enough from the experience to document it and retrieve our full attention when needed.

If we were on autopilot without any awareness there would be no part of us to alert us of the impending accident involving the cat.  Even when we are lost in thought or our attention is focused elsewhere there is a semi-conscious part of us that is documenting so much more than we are overtly aware of.

Being fully absorbed in a conversation at a party does not preclude me from experiencing and documenting other simultaneous experiences. Let’s imagine that I’m talking to someone about their trip to Alaska. Since I’ve always dreamed of going to Alaska I’m listening to their every detail and asking probing question after probing question.  When relaying my conversation the next day to a friend they ask me who all was at the party. If they persist in my telling them who was there I’ll kind of replay the evening in my mind. Though I consciously did not say to myself there’s Jerry and Linda, I’ll be able to remember (see) them even though they were previously not conscious participants of my memory of the evening. If pressed I probably could name many of the songs that played during the time I was fully immersed in the discussion about Alaska.

Similarly, people totally focused on other things with actively babbling egos are often able to recall the most minute details of a scene that occurred days if not months ago when interviewed as witnesses by the police.

These examples demonstrate a few things. One is that we are far more conscious of things than we realize, and that even when lost in thought there is a part of us which remains aware of our surroundings. It also suggests that only part of our awareness is fully conscious (ego).  The remainder of our awareness is more passive and documents as well as allows us to function on autopilot.

The role of the ego in my general awareness is a little more complicated than often expressed. My ego is what I am conscious of, but I am aware of much more than I am conscious of. As I said before I can perform complex skills such as hiking, driving, singing and playing musical instruments without needing the assistance of the ego. My ability to function in the world is often independent of my conscious ego.  Yet, all these experiences will remain lifeless and without meaning until they become part of my conscious life (ego).

My ego seldom selects the words I speak. Words flow out of me naturally and quickly. During the course of most conversation my ego seems to function as a monitoring device, which takes pride in, guides or gets embarrassed by what is coming out of my mouth. The ego only gets involved when I’m struggling to find the words to express myself or when I feel a need to get back on track.

Yet, not only conversation but all experience remains lifeless without the ego’s awareness and participation. As  I mentioned earlier the ego is the part of us that guides, savors, improves, corrects and orchestrates our experience.

Human experience is composed of seeing, smelling, touching, hearing, tasting and responding (interacting) as well as an awareness of the event. The conscious ego awareness is what makes the event memorable. Unlike the body, the ego is not immersed in the event, but rather it is relatively removed, it is a spectator.

The body is perceiving and interacting with objects while the ego is the subject. Experience seems to require both an object to perceive and a subject which perceives. An ego without an object to perceive seems as illogical as an experience without someone having the experience.

Many popular self-help practices as well as many famous philosophical and religious systems seem to ignore the basic mechanics of human experience. You have some who treat the ego as an illusion or an obstacle and demand the adherent to be totally present, and you have others who go to the opposite extreme and say all the world is an illusion and demand its followers to transcend the world and live in the infinite.

Since both the body and consciousness are necessary for experience, as well as a world (object) and self (subject) it seem counterproductive to denigrate their importance. Why we must choose to either deny the ego through being ever present, or destroy the world through seeking refuge in the eternal (sacred) ? What is so bad about being human and relishing the wonder that is human experience?

In the next post I hope to continue exploring these questions.

Jim Guido