In my last post, Life Conscious of Itself, I highlighted some of the most positive aspects of having a sense of self, while in Components of Personal Growth and Development I noted the benefits of repetition and habit.
A rich life includes both personal growth and a healthy sense of self. A rich life thrives on a sense of history as well as a sense of growth and development.
Our forever shrinking planet with its improvements in communication and technology gives us ample opportunities to experience life in varied and intense ways. The amount of information for us to process and learn from is growing exponentially. The ability to correct, improve and enhance our sensorial and perceptual experience is likewise growing in leaps and bounds. Powerful and meaningful experience in microscopic and telescopic frames are readily available, as is our ability to have increased community and intimacy with people both immediate and distant to us geographically.
It seems that almost daily new horizons are opening up to us allowing us to experience life with more clarity and depth. Advances in communication networks are allowing us to make intimate contact with an increasing number of people from all over the globe. Our available menu of experiences is growing daily as is the number of options and opportunities for our personal growth and development.
The pace and variety of change is exciting. Entire worlds are at our fingertips, and our eyes can see sights in one day that it used to take a lifetime to view.
A rich life is not just one chock full of experiences but also one steeped in meaning, significance and poignancy. Life without a sense of history will have a hard time being satisfying. Experiences without heartfelt memories can become shallow and lead to a sense of emptiness.
Novel experiences can be powerful and meaningful. A rare vision or experience can be quite satisfying and endure in our memory for ages. Yet, most memories are born out of the familiar and are etched in our minds due to their constancy. Just as we learn through repetition, so do we create a sense of self and history through constancy and duration.
When I reflect on the richness of my life it is indeed littered with powerful and solitary events. I can remember a place I visited in a foreign city, a particular meal I enjoyed, or a concert I attended. Yet, by and large the memories of my life are filled with things that seldom changed and remained constant in my life.
The very possibility of seeing myself as being the same person through the course of my life is somewhat dependent on my remaining a constant. A life filled with consistency and repetition is more likely to be remembered than one with change and unique experiences.
The memories of my childhood are enriched and dominated by the things in my childhood that had duration and were repeated often. I have clear and emotionally powerful memories of my bedroom, friends, teachers and toys and belongings which were part of my life for years. They make up the very structure of my existence the very view and perspective of my childhood.
Individual events can make extraordinary memories, but repetitive memories make up the meat and essence of my existence. Individual and unique experiences add spice and flavor to my view of myself and the world, where the daily repetitive experiences make up the meat and main course of my existence. A diet that consisted of only spice would not be fulfilling and in fact would probably in the long run be very unappetizing. Just as the main course or entree make up the body of a meal which gives the meal both its identity and satisfies our hunger, so too does repetitive activities, experiences and surroundings provide our life with meaning and significance.
In today’s world of constant change, growth and consumerism meaning and identity can become endangered species. One can spend one’s time going from flower to flower, from fleeting experience to new encounter without sensing the garden or feel oneself the author of one’s own experience.
It is hard to imagine a life bereft of memories or a constant sense of self having as much meaning or emotional poignancy as a life steeped in a strong sense of personal history and sense of self. Therefore, it is important for us to cultivate constancy and duration along with change and expansion. It is important for us to find time to reflect and savor as well as expand our perceptual and sensorial worlds of experience.
Meaning is seldom found in the moment of experience, but rather on a reflection of its beauty and subtlety. The importance of memory is so powerfully demonstrated in the pain and anguish that often accompanies the early stages of dementia or Alzheimer’s. Many people report a loss of sense of self along with any decrease in their ability to remember.
Those of us who want to live a full and rich life need to stay mindful of the importance of memory and constancy in our emotional and intellectual constitution and identity. While desiring to change, grow and experience we need to take time to savor, reflect and revel in our daily rituals and habits. In our modern consumer world of change we often lose sight of the need and benefits of keeping much in our life constant.
Our fast paced technological and consumer world is becoming increasingly dominated by change, updates and new generations of almost every product we own or use. This makes it hard for us to keep constancy in the objects, activities, possessions, environments, and relationships which make up our lives. Anytime we endanger constancy in our lives we also have to be aware of the possibility that we are endangering the richness of our experience especially in the areas of meaning and identity which are forged through memory and emotional connection (love and friendship).
I will end this post with a question that’s been running through mind of late. Would a person whose life was full of constant change and short term relationships be more susceptible to developing dementia than one whose life was dominated by habit, ritual and long term relationships?
Jim Guido