GuidoWorld

Male Dominated - Female Oriented Society

In our series of posts regarding male sexuality we’ve encountered a number of myths. In this post we will attempt to address one more overstatement which could be considered a myth. This myth is the one that states that modern society is a male society and that its goals, methods and strategies are all male oriented.

In the last couple of posts we’ve explored both the male and female sexual symbols. We found the current view of the male phallic symbol  to be kind of limited. While it is true that the phallic symbol as depicted by the sword, missile and gun are prone to violence and aggression and that part of the phallic symbol is accurately portrayed as a vehicle for power and violence, we also found the symbol had a positive role. The phallus not only symbolizes violence but also creativity, invention, progress and discovery. The male phallus is an organ that penetrates, probes and emits and, therefore, its symbolic images should include these concept areas. The paintbrush, pen, airplane, train, and submarine as well as the microscope, telescope and hypodermic needle are all phallic images. Likewise most tools used for construction and technology are phallic images.

The female vaginal/womb images are likewise plentiful though ignored by both psychologists and lay people alike. The vaginal/womb images include the purse, bank vault, nest, home and mineral mines. They also include pots, pans, urns and vessels of all types. The female organs deal with protection, propagation, housing, safety, storage, containment and accumulation. The female symbolism centers on containing and accumulation.

We talked at length in earlier posts of how much a woman’s world is pervaded and focused on beauty. When you couple this the vaginal symbolism you get an  idea of what  a woman likes to collect, and that is things of beauty that appeal to the senses. Woman often like to surround themselves  and their home with things that look beautiful such as flowers, pieces of art, jewelry and furniture. Yet, they also like to surround themselves with pleasing fabrics and textures,  and objects that smell pretty, and sounds which are pleasing to the ears, etc.

In recent years our advertising industry has valiantly attempted to convince men to be shoppers and better consumers. In many respects they have succeeded but still the majority of men are not into gathering and collecting objects and surrounding themselves with beauty. In olden days when men spent their days hunting, conquering and exploring they did not spend much time at home. Even in industrial societies men have spent their time working and little time purchasing and accumulating goods.

This leads me to agree with Nietsche when he states that modern society is very feminine. It seems to me that capitalism with its emphasis on consumerism is a female oriented society. It is after all a society that measures a persons importance in terms of how much they own and possess, how much they accumulate and purchase. While older societies often viewed power and free time as the height and goal of wealth, modern capitalism looks at the accumulation of wealth and more often of goods as the sign of success.

The goal of Roman and Greek societies as well as Old European societies was to have enough wealth to avoid having to work. The very definition of “free man” in early democracies was the notion of never having to work. The crucial issue was not how much you owned or how ornate your abode, but rather if you were above having to do menial labor. Even in the 19th and early 20th century Europe you were considered uncultured if you had to work to make a living and industrial types were considered crude and not accepted into high society.

The goal has now shifted from being free of work and master of your own time, to a desire to work and accumulate as much as humanly possible. The goal is to purchase as big a house as possible, with multiple vehicles and to surround yourself with as many objects and gadgets as you can afford to accumulate. So, rather than the goal being to not work, the goal is to accumulate as much as possible.

This is why I feel confident in stating that while we still are a male dominated society, we are a female oriented society. The goals and activities of society are not so much about probing, penetrating and emitting as is the essence of the phallic symbol. The goals and means of society are all about accumulating, protecting, housing, storing and surrounding oneself with beauty which are vaginal/womb and, therefore, feminine images and priorities.

In the next post I’ll expand on this theme a little more and try to answer why a male dominated society is feminine in nature and structure.

Jim Guido

Sexual Symbols: Female

In the last post I attempted to broaden the discussion on the male sexual symbol, the phallus. Rather than focusing on the phallic stereotype of violence and aggression using the standard images of guns, missiles, knives and swords I expanded on the role of penetration of the phallus and described the role it plays in invention, discovery and knowledge.

In this post I want to address the often ignored female sex symbol, the vagina and its symbolic impact on woman and society. The vagina coupled with the womb will be the inspiration of the female sex symbols. I have to admit I have not found any literature on this topic so most of this is my own.

When looking for vaginal/womb images in our society the most obvious is the purse. Many women have an intimate relationship with their purse, and they view it as an extension of themselves. A purse is often guarded and clutched on to, and no one but its owner is allowed access to the purse. While another woman’s uninvited access to a purse is considered an invasion of privacy a male’s going through a woman’s purse is often experienced and expressed as a violation of the person. Woman who have had a man take or rummage through the contents of their purse often state that they “felt violated” by the intrusion, and some relate prolonged feelings of anxiety or nausea when they think about the violation.

Though purses are a very strong and intimate vaginal image they are not the only vaginal/womb symbol. While phallic images are found in objects that are phallus shaped and are involved in the act of penetration , vaginal symbols are found in objects which replicate the function of the womb and are containers and receptacles as opposed to probes and penetrators.

The nest, the home and the bank vault are all vaginal symbols. Like the vagina and the womb they house and protect. They are places of safety where things can grow and be nourished.

Just as many objects can be phallic symbols by their function of penetration or their resemblance to a phallus, likewise many vaginal/womb symbols are by nature of their function as well as their shape. Therefore, objects which house or contain are fair game for becoming vaginal images. Pots, pans, bowls, urns, as well as gold/coal mines, caves, treasure chests and ships can be vaginal symbols. Though ships penetrating the sea can be phallic symbols, they often house people at sea and therefore can be vaginal symbols. Which could be why ships are always have female names and referred to as women.

Vaginal symbols are where things are contained, housed, stored and received. It is where things are protected, grow, develop, multiply and accumulate. Due to the menstrual cycle vaginal images also involve things that flow or are cyclical in nature. Rivers and lava are vaginal symbols as well as cash flow.

We’ve talked at length in previous posts at the privileged role the concept of beauty plays in the feminine world. Woman speak of beauty much more than men, and spend a lot of time and energy creating and surrounding themselves with beauty. When you couple this with the vaginal images regarding housing, containing and accumulating you find a strong emphasis in the female world in collecting objects and wealth.

The home is a place of safety but it is also the realm of propagation and growth. Home is where children are produced and objects are collected and stored. These objects provide safety and security as well as depict and surround oneself with beauty.

Many birds and animals who build nests and homesteads are concerned with aesthetics and not just safety. When nest building shiny objects are selected for beauty as well as function. Some male birds offer beautiful trinkets as a way of courtship, and what male bird or mammal doesn’t exert great energy in trying to appeal to the female sense of beauty through preening, colorful displays or puffing out some eye catching display.

This post is designed only as an introduction of the concept of the role the vaginal/womb symbol plays in the life of women and society in general. While the phallic symbol has us take notice of how men and society are impacted by its related images, so to the vaginal symbol should have us take notice of the values and points of emphasis that it imparts to women and society.

To sum up the phallic image is represented by objects that penetrate. One can penetrate to kill, wound or break apart, but one also can penetrate to discover, create and advance. The phallic image is seen in guns, swords, knives and missiles but is also present in most tools such as drills, screwdrivers, saws and hoes.

The vaginal symbol is seen in objects that house, contain, protect and receive. The womb and vagina are hidden worlds where things grow, flow and accumulate.

In the next post I’m going to use these male and female images to help us understand how they get played out in our culture. Some philosophers including Nietsche have stated that they felt modern civilization was becoming highly feminized and would go so far as to say that modern life is more feminine than masculine. In the next post I will explore this rather radical idea and see in what ways it applies and in what ways it doesn’t.

Jim Guido

Sexual Symbols: Male

In the next two posts I will discuss some sexual symbolism of both males and females.
In general most people are familiar with the more stereotypical and mainly negative male sexual symbols, while the female symbols have largely been ignored.

Today’s post will focus on the male symbols and the next one will focus on female symbols. Most people are familiar with the Freudian and post Freudian symbols of the phallus, where the penis has been seen as the weapon of mass destruction and the poster boy for male aggression.

The knife, gun, missile, sword and even the hatchet have been widely recognized as being symbolic duplications of the male phallus. Bullets, bombs and most destructive projectiles have commonly been associated with the semen as they are emitted from the symbolic male organs.

These phallic images are important to know, but they don’t depict the entire symbolic realm of the male gender. There are hundreds of objects which reflect the form and function of the phallus that aren’t captured in the above popular symbols. While many phallic symbols replicate the form of a penis many others duplicate its function. The function of the penis is to penetrate, and its shape is designed to accomplish this. It is important to realize that the penis is itself an instrument or tool which penetrates, probes and emits. Anything which serves these purposes should be up for consideration as a phallic symbol.

Many objects such as the pen, paint brush and telescope are obvious phallic images. When someone says that the pen is mightier than the sword they probably aren’t realizing that they are comparing phallic images, but they are. And yes, the pen is mightier than the sword and words are more influential than brute force, and the phallus is not just a device of violence and aggression.

Whenever the act of penetration is involved it is a likely candidate for phallic imagery. Now, penetration is a crucial part of violence, war and aggression, yet it also is a vital aspect of discovery, invention and science. Man has penetrated many things in his journey towards civilization and improving the quality of life.

Man has penetrated and probed the earth, sea, sky and outerspace. Early man used the hoe, plow and other phallic symbols to penetrate the earth to produce crops and help us survive. He has used the telescope and microscope (both phallic images) to probe the macro and micro universe. We have used philosophy and religion to penetrate the meaning of life, as well as psychology to penetrate the internal life of the self. We’ve used the scalpel to penetrate and learn about the human body, and later to develop reliable surgical techniques.

We have used trains, cars, planes and rockets to penetrate space and propel us forward. We have used telegraphs, telephones, radios and TV’s to penetrate the airwaves allowing us to communicate with each other over long distances.

Penetration can be used to wound or kill, but it also can be the instrument of progress and discovery. Just as we have found that the male sex drive has been negatively cast, we now see that the male gender has been negatively cast by the phallic symbols we have chosen to focus on.

My intention in this post is not to try to deny or minimize the reality of male aggression and violence. My goal, like in all my posts regarding the male sex drive, is to attempt to portray a balanced view of male energy and character. I have repeatedly stated the dangers of denial and repression in respect to the male sex drive. Denial and repression of natural drives more often than not lead to poor self-esteem, perversion, neurosis and depression.

Likewise the modern discussion regarding male sexual symbols has a tendency to portray men in a very negative light. In this caricature men are inherently violent and aggressive and generally incapable of resolving issues through any other means than violence and verbal battle. The reality of the matter is that men have many tools at their disposal. In fact most tools are literally and figuratively phallic symbols. Everything from drills, screwdrivers, hammers and pickaxes to lasers, hypodermic needles and flutes are phallic symbols. These tools can be used to resolve problems, heal, inspire and improve our lives.

Phallic symbols and the manhood they depict are not just about violence and aggression, but also progress, discovery and development. Ships that sailed around the world, submarines that explored the ocean depths are just as masculine as guns and missiles. The pen and paintbrush are fundamental to human expression and communication and are as valid to the male character as is the arrow or sledgehammer.

I think it is a shame that many male children growing up over the last few decades have been made to feel inherently bad about their masculinity. Many males have been told that they must overcome both their sex drive and their violent masculine nature. While I agree that men should limit if not completely outgrow their violent tendencies I do not think that male aggression is the sum total of their masculinity, or even its most salient quality.

My drive to learn, discover, penetrate, probe and understand is and always has been greater than my desire to hurt, harm or injure. My desire to communicate, share and grow has always been greater than my desire to control, win or defeat. One can penetrate the walls that separate in order to achieve intimate union as well as to rape and dominate. The real phallus as well as the symbolic one can be an instrument of intimacy and a creator of life and not just be an unwelcomed invader.

Phallic symbols should be used to inspire and not just to warn. Phallic symbols should be used to depict the positive elements of masculinity and not just as a means of exposing male vanity and his baser nature. Hopefully, a discussion such as this will help men embrace their nature and hone their strengths while remaining aware of their faults and potential negative qualities.

A healthy masculinity like a healthy male sex drive is found through acceptance and growth not through denial and repression. The masculine nature is neither evil nor perfect, it is an inherent energy to be understood and developed. Even though no two men or their sex drives are identical there is much to learn by gender analysis and the world of symbols.

Jim Guido

Life, Death and Denial

My investigation into the male sex drive has led me to a few important related tangents. When we discussed how the male sex drive is treated in our culture we realized that it is at best ignored and at worst denied. Men are often told that they should put their sex drive on a short leash or completely overcome it. Instead of celebrating one of the strongest drives in nature men are told that their sex drive is bad or at least an obstacle to overcome.

Yet, this negative view of men’s natural drives finds itself appearing in many other natural ways of our being in the world. In fact our very ability to sense and be in the world is often slammed and viewed as a negative. In many religions perceptual life is either deemed an illusion or the cause of all suffering. We are told that the false reality of the mundane world, the sensual/perceptual world of human existence needs to be replaced by the world of the sacred. While the temporal world of human experience is rooted in suffering, the ideal world of God and the sacred is eternal and blissful.

I realize that this view makes sense when viewed from the perspective of the fight for survival and the suffering endured by much of human history. Yet, even now when a great number of people are able to live relatively pain free lives we still have a need to down rap human experience and look for happiness beyond experience.

I see this coping mechanism as a potential problem in many people’s lives. When a coping mechanism isn’t needed its use can detract from the quality of one’s life. One should wear a coat and gloves when it is cold outside, but wearing such protective gear would hinder our ability to feel and experience life during warmer weather. Coping mechanisms, like winter woolies, are beneficial in protecting us during harsh times, but actually can reduce the quality of our lives when used during warm times.

To me life is a celebration. I do not see the male sex drive, nor our senses as inherently negative aspects needing to be repressed or overcome. In fact, I think there is great harm done when one unnecessarily inhibits or restricts these natural drives.

I mentioned before that in my work in the field of human services I have noticed some pretty strong patterns. One pattern is that the denial or repression of natural drives more often than not ends up causing problems. A child neglected or abused whose basic needs have not been met will have significant impairments in their ability to find joy and happiness in life. When talking of the male sex drive I noted how repression of this basic drive often results in perversion or problems with aggression.

In situation after situation I have observed how repression of basic needs and drives results in coping mechanisms and behavior which are often unsuccessful in maintaining mental health. These patterns have led me to conclude that the more direct a person is able to get their needs met, the more healthy and happy they will become. In other words, my definition of mental health is when a person is able to get their needs met in a direct and satiating manner.

In recent posts I’ve talked of how narrow and restricted our view of our body is. In these discussions I’ve tried to talk of the body not as a collection of tissues and bones but rather as the part of us that naturally takes up and lives in a world. Not only is my ego not involved in my decision to breathe, but also it is not directly involved in my walking, talking or engaging in a number of tasks. While the body lives in the world my conscious mind (ego) is that which guides and takes credit and responsibility for how I behave.

Just as our body has been dissed by saying that our sensorial life is an illusion to be overcome, likewise our conscious mind has been negatively cast. In modern psychology the conscious mind has been made the blind servant to the Unconscious or the Collective Unconscious. Just as the very narrow view of the body caused us to flesh it out with an idea of spirit, so too our narrow view of consciousness has led us to create the modern view of the Unconscious. In some future essays I’ll apply the more realistic expanded views of the body and consciousness to discuss the appropriate space of the unconscious in context with the preconscious, subconscious and our general body awareness.

When the body and consciousness are viewed in this manner one does not have a need for a term such as spirit, for there is no gap in our experience needing to be filled by such a term. The benefit to dropping the term of spirit or spirituality is that it is more in tune with our actual experience and avoids the tendency of most people’s use of spirit to deny and dehumanize life.

When we exult the sacred we denigrate the mundane. When we devise an essence such as spirit which never dies and survives us after we die, we make human life inessential and meaningless. I am a thinking and feeling human being, all of my experiences are a combination of sense experiences and consciousness. While the body generates and is experience, the conscious mind (ego) is the experiencer. Human experience is dependent on both of these elements. One needs a body to experience and a consciousness to savor and find meaning in these experiences. As I mentioned before when life is viewed from this perspective there is no need for spirit. More often than not the term spirit is used to once again denigrate and deny human life by making life an illusion or a subset to something else (like immortality or enlightenment).

Death gives life meaning just as time and space give meaning to experience. An elephant only exists for me because I see a beginning and an end to the gray beast and space around it. A life, too, is only a life if it begins and ends. Immortality and the eternal are not livable concepts - they are beyond life, for life is finite and absolutes are infinite. Just as I see no need to deny the male sex drive, nor overcome perceptual life, I also see no need to deny my mortality. Just as one can expect perversion and sickness when basic human needs are repressed and denied, one also can expect harms to the quality of one’s existence when one attempts to deny or repress our innate mortality.

Jim Guido

Life and Limitation

In the previous post or two I’ve talked of the weakness of looking at life in a black and white fashion in which things are viewed as good or bad. Biological and mental life are very complex and when we look at things we see that global judgments often end up being very inaccurate and misleading.

Not that long ago we discovered the pernicious role germs and bacteria can play in human life. Soon many people adapted the idea that germs and bacteria were bad and we should everything in our power to kill all germs. Yet, the fact of the matter is that while our lives are threatened by some bacteria they are enhanced and even dependent on the existence of others. Without bacteria we couldn’t digest food, heal or fight off disease. Our immune system is strengthened by contact with germs which stress and challenge our bodies.

The same black and white mentality can be very harmful in the success of human activities such as farming. Farmer’s who realized that their crops were being destroyed by pests and insects often decided to declare war on all insects. In their perfect world all  insects would be exterminated so that their plants could grow without being destroyed or hampered by pests. Yet, many of these insects and soil microorganisms are essential for successful farming. Soil without earthworms is unable to produce most crops and many of our fruits and vegetation is dependent on bees for their survival. The list of essential insects, pests and microorganisms probably dwarfs the list of harmful ones.

The same faulty logic of seeing just the negative in something basic to human life and survival is found in the idea of limitation. Most people dwell on the negative aspect of limitation in life. The look at limits as being obstacles, hurdles or dead ends. Many philosophers, artists and spiritualists dream of a life unfettered by limits and even go so far as too claim all limits in life are illusions. Many of these people claim that human life is inherently limitless and it is only our negativity and short sightedness which prevents us from living a limit free existence.

To me this is just another example of how we degrade and deny our basic humanity. In the near twenty posts I’ve done regarding male sexuality I’ve talked at length at how we have a tendency not only to deny our sexual nature but also to demonize our human nature.

A life without limits is kind of like an orchard without bees, or a garden without earthworms. Though I agree that some limits are tiresome and a burden, I find the bulk of limitations in life to be productive and essential.

Simply stated human experience is impossible without limitations. Every experience we have is made possible by a host of limitations.

We live because we are mortal. If we were immortal we would have no experience. Being immortal means one is eternal and beyond time. Experience exists because of time, space, consciousness.  Without time we would have no history, no continuity and no memory. Without time their could be no meaning.

Due to the limits of time and space we can see, smell, touch, hear, taste and feel a world around us. Each individual sense is itself dependent on numerous limitations.  We see shape and color due to the limitations of reflected light. If we saw all light we would see no thing (nothing). If we heard all sound we would not hear any particular or individual sound. The same goes for all sensations.

The same goes for thought and feeling. Without limitations we would not have a thought and we could not experience individual and changing emotions.

Without limitations life would have no history, no meaning and their would be no journey. Life is interesting, exciting and challenging because of its limitations. Life is a never ending process of discovery, adaptation and creativity. The person who desires perfection or total knowledge is essentially desiring to destroy life. For a life without limitation is not a life of experience and meaning. Just as a person seeing everything is unable to see no thing (nothing) likewise a person knowing everything could not know a single thing.

This realization and acceptance of human experience has benefited me well. It has allowed me to enjoy each experience without feeling a need to conquer life. Seeing life as finite and limited encourages me to maximize my experiences while keeping my expectations realistic. It also allows me my human nature in a positive light and allows me to embrace both myself and the world around me.

Human limitation from this perspective becomes a vehicle not an obstacle, and human experience becomes something to celebrate and hone and not something to bewail and feel bad about.

A nice aspect of this perspective is that it jives with life, and therefore,  isn’t dependent on some basic irony or paradox as is most spiritual perspectives.

Likewise this perspective helps me accept the prospect of death. When every experience is based on limitation, and meaning is formed from limitation itself than the termination of life adds meaning to life.

While disease caused a lot of our negative bias towards germs and famine fostered our negative view of insects, a feel the fight for survival has engendered our strong dislike of limitation. If you want to read more on this idea please read my book Exploring Intimacy in the words section of this site. One chapter in particular expands on the positive and negative roles of limitation in human existence.

In the next post I will talk more on my thought regarding death and dying and how even in death we have a tendency to deny and belittle life.

Jim Guido